I tako, prošli su još jedni sjajni izbori sa sjajnim rezultatima. Svi imaju nekakva razmišljanja o tom famoznom događaju i svi se nešto deru. Htio ne htio, čujem ta razmišljanja ljudi (i političara) o predizbornom i postizbornom mjuziklu „Alisa u zemlji čudesa“ i konspirativnim napadima na sve što koristi mozak. Zvuči mi kao da su studenti prve godine medicinskog fakulteta iz Bedekovčine probali vježbat lobotomiju na Hrvatima i sad ti isti dobrovoljci pokušavaju složit smislenu teoriju u glavi i artikulirano ju izložit sunarodnjacima, te naravno, nastane problem. Nakon kratkog vremena i zbog nemogućnosti uporabe logike i činjenica, emocije značajno porastu te zvuče kao onaj ludi stric koji je na novom lijeku ali mu doktor još nije pogodio dozu. Nekom, poput Karamarka, to vikanje ide zaista loše, a netko, poput Milanovića, unajmi američkog logopeda pa ajde-sjedni-2 nešto i kaže.
Toliko puno baratanja krivim informacijama nisam vidio od drugog ili trećeg razreda srednje škole kada je netko od kolega na testu iz povijesti napisao da je začetnik protestantske reformacije u Njemačkoj (16.st.) Martin Luther King, onaj Afro-amerikanac rođen u Atlanti 1929. Ili kada je jedna kolegica na usmenom ispitivanju iz geografije rekla da je na sjeveru Rusije razvijen turizam. Jer nema nista ljepšeg za turiste od temperatura od oko -15 i pogled na ruske ledolomce dok piješ mojito s kišobrančićem.
Post nubila… Božo Petrov?
U centru ovog bala je sveobuhvatni sukob lijevog i desnog, kapitalizma protiv komunizma (ili bar tako tvrde), koji vode vrlo, vrlo slični ljudi. Ljudi koji nebi znali napisat „slobodno tržište“ da im život ovisi o tome, a još ga manje razumiju. Djeca jednostranačja, prvo Komunističke partije a nakon toga HDZ-a u 90-ima. Ljudi koji misle da je socijalna država isto što i socijalizam, raj za lijene uhljebe podložne stranačkom mehanizmu i mentalitetu. Čije su ambicije vrlo visoke, integritet vrlo nisko a stručnost nepostojeća. Političari. Skupa odijela i jeftin populizam. Sve na krilima stranačke zombi mašinerije. No kada se svjetla pozornice ugase, kada predstava bude gotova a publika ode doma, iza scene i ispod stola počinje igra preslagivanja pozicija i uhljebljivanje nedovoljno pametnih, lijenih poslušnika koji mašu repom na šefov pogled. Političari se ne mrze koliko mi mislimo. Tek toliko da znate. Ne mrze se ni upola koliko se (ne)obični puk među sobom mrzi zbog njih.
A onda nakon izbora iskrsne Božo. Jer Božo, iako je iz Metkovića, svakako vidi dalje od mandarina. Božo, junak naše priče, otkrio je knjigu „Politics for dummies“ i skupio jako puno glasova tako što je tvrdio da on u biti nikoga nevoli, ni ADeZe ni komunjare. Osnovao je konfederativnu udrugu „Most“, heterogenu skupinu nezadovoljnika različitih profila koji su se prvi put upoznali ovaj vikend, tjedan dana poslije izbora. Na Plitvicama.
I sad bi Božo, koji je iz Metkovića ako nisam spomenuo sastavljao vladu. Jer Božo je drugačiji, kao onaj cool šutljivi mračni lik na kojeg se pale teen curice koje misle da znaju sve o svemu, a svijet ih ne razumije, slušaju Linkin Park/Jelenu Rozgu/Justin Biebera i pričaju o frajeru iz 8.b koji nije bio cool, pa sad je. No bitno je da lijepe postere Bože po sobi i zaokružuju kako njega, tako i njegovu listu. Jer on je Just.In na-političkoj-sceni Božo i zaBieberit će svima. To sve ćemo tek vidjet Božo.
Moćne debate o ničemu
No nebitno. Ono što je zaista bitno je da se debata publike naivno nastavlja čak i nakon što debata političara utihne, a to je obično nakon „konzultacija“, odnosno aukcija fotelja i proračunske love. Najžešće akademske debate naravno vode oni koji najmanje znaju. Iako imaju različita zvanja, kada se radi o politici, ljudi obično postanu arhitekti, odvjetnici, doktori za Coca Colu i kolače, stručnjaci za povijest, futurizam i kvantnu termodinamiku i trude se dokazat svijetu teoriju velikog praska u „hrvackoj polit’ci“ (nije lapsus calami), prije svega svome susjedu koji „nema pojma jer on nezna“.
Smatram ogromnim problemom što ogroman broj naivnih ljudi bez razmišljanja tvrde da su na vlasti do nedavno bili (a možda i nastave bit) u biti komunisti koji mrze „našu ‘Rvacku“, pogrješka im je gramatički ispravna riječ, masturbiraju na prvo bijelo polje u šahovnici i tvrde da je Pavelić u biti samo neshvaćeni domoljub i sve to dok okidaju na cajke.
S druge strane, oni koji naginju više lijevo su kao mali slušali bakine priče o tome kako su u Jugoslaviji svi jahali jednoroge pa je sve tada bilo bolje. Jednoroge je naravno pravedno djelio Tito koje je dobio od Čarobnjaka iz Oza. Budimo iskreni, mnogi s desne strane su odrasli na istim pričama i bili u istim stranačkim bojama (KP) ali su shvatili gdje je lova, dok ju ovi s lijeve još uvijek traže.
Iako nisu dobili apsolutno ništa od preizbornih obećanja, glasači će se do krvi borit za to da bas Karamarko/Milanović/onaj mali s masnom kosom iz Živog zida dobije tu neku poziciju s koje će pričat o nekakvoj imaginarnoj promjeni i SF reformi koja se nikad ne dogodi. Nitko ne pita zašto se promjena ne događa. Nitko ne poziva na odgovornost, nitko ne kažnjava političare davanjem glasa nekom drugom. Do kada?
Zatim prođu 4 (četiri!) godine, stari planovi naziva „Domoljubni Catch 22“ padne u zaborav, a dolaze novi planovi u obliku sastavka iz hrvatskog jezika u 7. razredu osnovne. To se sve događa bez ikakvog objašnjenja koliko se uspjelo ostvarit, koliko nije te najbitnije zašto nije. Nema mjerila i kriterija uspješnosti političkog rada, sve je to bez odgovornosti i bez pameti.
„Svi mi ovo znamo. Čuli smo tu staru, ofucanu priču o lošem stanju i znamo da…“ bla bla bla. Ako je tako, onda vas ja neću poticat na nekakav egzibicionizam upotrebe centralnog organa za vesele kognitivne aktivnosti kad vam netko proba prodat priču o ustašama i partizanima umjesto da priča što će konkretno napravit u prvih 6 mjeseci ako dođe na vlast. Niti, ako ste stranački opredijeljeni, da budete objektivni i kritični prema svojim velikim vođama pa makar bili oni iz vaše stranke. Ili tražit od vas da budete objektivni prema onima iz suparničke stranke. Drugim riječima, da budete kritični i skeptični prema svemu, razmišljate više logikom nego površnim emocijama koje su vam uspjeli nametnut manipulacijom.
No, tako je kako je, sve će propast, nema nam spasa. Dok pjevamo „Smak svita“ od TBF-a, Hrvatskom vladaju jednorozi, komunisti, ustaše i Winnie the Pooh.
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